Teleporting newts

In my garden, there’s a pond.

The pond currently has lots of tadpoles in it. Now, back in February I heard the frogs doing their ‘ribbit’ thing, so I knew that they were having fun, and I expected to see tadpoles in the pond come this time of year. And I wasn’t surprised.

The thing is: newts don’t go ‘ribbit’.

Later on in the year, after a downpour, I’ll expect to see lots of tiny frogs on the lawn. They’ll be buggering off to whereeveritistheygo, and that’s normal. I won’t be surprised by that.

But I’ve never, ever seen a newt on the lawn, downpour or no.

I have a theory for this.

Whereas frogs use their legs (and those are some powerful legs!) to get from one place of safety to another, newts can only waddle. They have tiny legs. I can’t imagine them running away from predators with any great success. (Mind you, I have no clue what predates on newts. Pigeons?)

So, my theory is that newts have evolved a way to get around this. Yes, my friends: they don’t need to waddle from one pond to another — because they teleport!

That is my theory, and, much like the theory of Anne Elk (miss) about brontosauruses,  it is mine.

About peNdantry

Phlyarologist (part-time) and pendant. Campaigner for action against anthropogenic global warming (AGW) and injustice in all its forms. Humanist, atheist, notoftenpist. Wannabe poet, writer and astronaut.
This entry was posted in ... wait, what?, Just for laughs, Phlyarology and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Teleporting newts

  1. Tom says:

    Ah, you see, that’s a common misconception. Newts have an even more fascinating way to move from A to B to C etc… They use tiny button-like leaves known as ‘Ons’ to transport themselves, rather than just teleporting. It’s a Newts On Law of Motion…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Big smiles…. :-) Ponds are full of life.. I have frogs but had no frog spawn this year…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I want to say: “I disagree,” but I have no counterargument or a better explanation. You win.

    Liked by 1 person

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