Heister

I’d been tracking this elusive character all over the world for two years now. Everywhere he hit, he left a photograph bearing the legend “always smile! PONY BROWN” as a calling card. After banging my head against the wall as to whether there was some clue in this, I’d come to the conclusion that he just had a collection of the things, and leaving them at the scene was just his way of saying “I was here!” — a thumb to the nose to those like me who would try to track him down.

I had no idea of the physical attributes of my quarry, even after all this time. I’d filled notebook after notebook with evidence from bystanders, and nothing — not one solitary thing — struck a chord between them. My target may as well have been a ghost.

But his arrogance would be his undoing: I’d at last spotted a pattern in his movements that led me to believe I could get the drop on him. Having determined his next objective, I set my trap and lay in wait. His days were numbered.

But then the hit happened anyway — and I finally realised the Pony Brown heister was me.

Word count: 199
Prompt: What do you see # 32- 1st June 2020

About pendantry

Phlyarologist (part-time) and pendant. Campaigner for action against anthropogenic global warming (AGW) and injustice in all its forms. Humanist, atheist, notoftenpist. Wannabe poet, writer and astronaut.
This entry was posted in Drama, Flash fiction and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Heister

  1. Sadje says:

    I really like your story. An interesting twist at the end!
    Thanks for joining in the challenge

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nicely penned.. Enjoyed it

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I thought it might be you. Still an interesting read.
    Does the challenge have to be 199 words? I think it would help if you could add how you thought you had figured the heister out before the reveal. Because it goes from – nothing makes sense to oh, I figured it out. How? And then, heist happens anyway. I think it would build more momentum.

    Liked by 1 person

    • pendantry says:

      The word limit is self-imposed: this challenge has none. You’re absolutely right; this piece could do with being longer — although I’m struggling anyway to resolve how he would actually figure out that he was the heister himself. I think even if I could explain it, it would be a short story of a couple of thousand words, which is more than I’m in the mood for at present.

      In fact, the original ending I had was, I think, even more unsatisfactory: it ended with him just laying in wait for the heister and the assumption that he caught him. I wrote it, slept on it, and woke up thinking “ah! he heists himself!” :)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: What do you see # 32 – A roundup – Keep it alive

  5. Pingback: Sharing responses to this week’s prompt, What do you see; Fandango, Radhika and Pendantry – Keep it alive

  6. msjadeli says:

    Interesting twist.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. michnavs says:

    I didnt expect the twist to be💕💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

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