I’m counting bouncy fluffy sheep
And drifting gently off to sleep
Her fearsome whine is all I hear
As she dive-bombs just past my ear.
Then all at once I’m wide awake
And cannot rest until I take
The life of this one tiny thing
That whizzes by me on the wing.
She will not leave: it’s her or me
(And I know which one it will be)
I listen for that sound again
As I turn on the lights, and then
I scan the ceiling and the walls.
Soon I will have her by the… balls?
My strategy is all pre-planned:
With rolled-up magazine in hand
I stalk my prey. This evil bitch
Won’t suck my blood and leave an itch.
And then I see her, sitting there
Upon the wall, without a care:
I aim – with care – and then I whack
Somehow, she dodges my attack.
I play the waiting game anew.
At last she settles down in view;
One strong, swift swipe meets with success:
It leaves a flattened, splattered mess.
Then back to bed, lay down my head;
Sigh pleasantly of dreams ahead.
But just as I begin to snore –
Oh no! That sound! It’s back once more!
There’s no way I can have missed her…
Dammit! It must be – her sister!