Mozzy Hell

mosquitoI’m counting bouncy fluffy sheep
And drifting gently off to sleep
Her fearsome whine is all I hear
As she dive-bombs just past my ear.

Then all at once I’m wide awake
And cannot rest until I take
The life of this one tiny thing
That whizzes by me on the wing.

She will not leave: it’s her or me
(And I know which one it will be)
I listen for that sound again
As I turn on the lights, and then
I scan the ceiling and the walls.
Soon I will have her by the… balls?

My strategy is all pre-planned:
With rolled-up magazine in hand
I stalk my prey. This evil bitch
Won’t suck my blood and leave an itch.

And then I see her, sitting there
Upon the wall, without a care:
I aim – with care – and then I whack
Somehow, she dodges my attack.

I play the waiting game anew.
At last she settles down in view;
One strong, swift swipe meets with success:
It leaves a flattened, splattered mess.

Then back to bed, lay down my head;
Sigh pleasantly of dreams ahead.
But just as I begin to snore –
Oh no! That sound! It’s back once more!

There’s no way I can have missed her…
Dammit! It must be – her sister!

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About pendantry

Phlyarologist (part-time) and pendant. Campaigner for action against anthropogenic global warming (AGW) and injustice in all its forms. Humanist, atheist, notoftenpist. Wannabe poet, writer and astronaut.
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5 Responses to Mozzy Hell

  1. Sally Ann says:

    Damned mozzies, I looked like a red polka dot jumpsuit by the time I left Australia. What you need is an electric fly swat, best fiver I ever spent.

  2. Wendy says:

    Hehehehe… times many I\’ve see you perform this very poem… LOL san the sense of humour though, it has to be said! 

  3. penelope says:

    Hi there,  really enjoyed this poem, made me laugh cos I\’ve been there and bought the tee shirt.  Pen xx 

  4. penelope says:

    The spider\’s doing fine thanks for asking   Pen x 

  5. Lo says:

    And they\’re so romantic, aren\’t they? Twitching and slapping oneself on a date – mmmm, inviting! Just had that fun, recently.Also agree re phone rant. I specifically chose one for calls only, though I do use the message feature. Not text or pics, tho. So until my phone can\’t receive calls, it should be sufficient for my purposes and not in need of replacing. (Tho I will admit to being tempted by the sleek design of the iPhone – but until it can drive me places and cook me dinner, I\’ll hold out.) xxLo

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